Monday, July 13, 2009

and now for something completely different

I loved the broken angel image that I had as my blog header - I'll probably go and find it again the next time I want to change things up. The broken angel was the point of that image, but the cemetery behind her - at once terribly sad and poignantly lovely, to my snow-loving heart - was the icing on the cake.

On that subject (broken angels - you following?), I have been toying for some time with changing my name from "the misfit" to "the littlest angel." There's a number of reasons for this. Starting with the misfit - I chose that name originally because I was entering the blogging world to find a place I fit better than in the world of swinging singles and glowing mothers, and I kind of liked the Flannery O'Connor reference - not suggesting I'm a serial killer or anything, but her writing was vibrant and intelligent and really pushed the envelope, and very very Catholic in a way people often don't really get, and I could see borrowing some of those ideas in blogging about infertility. However, it occurs to me that "misfit" may sound angsty and Goth, an angle I was not going for; as demonstrated, perhaps, by the fact that very few people are willing to call me that, even though it's a noun for a person - and people with whole sentences for names are called by those pretty universally. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it.

So anyway, the angel thing has been with me for a while - I was the "littlest angel" (i.e., attorney who gets the worst assignments) at my firm for a while, and in college - I'll try to make this not-horrifying - one of my non-Catholic friends came up with a substitute for the baseball metaphor (first base, second base, you know), that involved angels. I was dating my very first boyfriend (a mistake, but aren't they all? OK, Megan, not yours), and saw it as something of an achievement to lose a little of my innocence, but I reacted in HORROR at the suggestion that anything should happen to my metaphorical wings. I wasn't doing much with my faith at the time, but heaven help the person who threatened those wings. And now, here I am in the blogosphere - a prosaic Catholic struggling to fly, as grounded spiritually as maternally. (The angel I picked for my little icon is missing a wing on the same side as my defunct ovary - I thought that was fitting. Also, she looks a bit like me.)

What say you? Is changing my nom de cyber after I've started somehow untrue to my little world here? Are both names preposterously teen/angsty?

As for my current photo - I stumbled on that picture from Disney's Little House and that was it. It's a little like the house I'm living in - very small, in the middle of quite a bit of land. It's a little like the life I'm living in - picturesque but a bit unreachable. And it's fitting to have a house, because right now, A House is the top of my emotional priorities. I have found my house - yes, I know, I did that before. But that was a house I could buy if I could persuade the goofy owners to take a reasonable offer (about half what they were asking) when they are demonstrably unreasonable, and I had no idea what the inside looked like, and it would need repairs in the six-figure range. Yes, yes, it was in the perfect neighborhood...

Anyway, I just found the house. It's just been reduced to a price that (with a small bidding war, but nothing they won't be getting from absolutely any buyer - in the 10% range?) we could seriously pay. (I'm not even kidding.) Unlike the previous My House, it has a real yard (.35 acres), with a driveway (that doesn't sound so special, but the other house didn't). It needs a lot of updates, but it is not in actual disrepair, and definitely not falling over. It's on a street of the most lovely Victorian homes, in a historic district (and did I mention that it's affordable?). It's three miles (yes, I know, way longer than four blocks, but still) from a metro line that stops walking distance from my office; the stop near the house has a parking lot and also a bus goes there from near the house. It's half a mile from the local parish, which we both attended on Sunday (we visited the house and environs) and really liked. It's driveable to a place my DH is really hoping to land a job (but it will be a long time before he knows...unless they speed things up! Prayers! Please!). It's got an unfinished attic and basement, which means that if we unexpectedly ended up with a gaggle of children, we could finish those spaces and house them all. There's a good parish school at the church. It's in a safe neighborhood.

It's so cute. It has a lovable porch, and a pile of other features with which I am in love (sadly, the one room I don't specially like and can't think of a simple way to fix is the kitchen. And kitchens are important. But, many designers and architects have trod this road before, and I shall pore over their ideas.) I am so attached to this house that I won't even post its picture here because I can't bear the idea that it should be taken away from me. (Of course, there are four or five blocks of nearby houses that could come on the market...but doubtful I would be able to afford them.) But we can't buy a house until DH lands a job. In the meantime, we are dickering with our rotten landlords, who want us to sign a 12-month lease, or, in the event that our circumstances could change and we need something different, a 12-month lease. I've looked up the property - they bought it for $10 and are not paying a mortgage. And it's not in an apartment complex, they can set whatever terms they want. We might stay here for a year. But we won't stay another month if they decide that they don't have to negotiate at all. Because you know's a buyer's market for rentals right now, too. SO THERE.

Anyway, such is the very small drama of my very small life.

I want a house.


  1. I think you're allowed to change your name if you want to! And I like the new picture :) It also reminded me of the kids' story where the little house gets crowded around with tall buildings and then they jack it up and take it to the country. Am I thinking of the same story you are? I need to brush up on my story knowledge!

    Your house sounds idyllic! I will pray that your hubby lands a good job so you can snatch it up :)

  2. I hear you, Littlest Angel (see, I take hints--though IMHO you have a touch more edge, but then again, so do the angels, right?)! Sounds really cool...and a really nice sized yard for an urban setting. I want more details about the interior--any cool original woodwork or something?

    Sigh. I love ogling houses. I miss it, actually. Just yesterday, I stopped myself from going to that certain real estate website, as I knew I would just be torturing myself.

    Our day will come, with lovely homes and, with any luck at all, with families bursting with love.

  3. I like "Misfit". I think it conveys exactly what you described - no longer fitting in with the single folk or the mommy crowd. But, if you feel called to reinvent your online identity, then you should!
    I love the Little House cartoon - it is exactly how I feel about city living in fact. I looked it up on to watch it this morning - good thing I didn't watch it yesterday! I would have been crying my eyes out for the poor little house. Those old Disney cartoons are some of my favorites.
    Your landlord is being ridiculous - most will do month-to-month leases at a higher rate at least.
    The house you're looking at sounds lovely. I love porches :). And kitchens, although a lot of work to change, CAN be changed. Hope your DH has some skill with a hammer!

  4. That house sounds really nice...good luck with it all. Do you watch HG.TV by chance? I just love that channel...I watch Hous.e Hunter.s a lot and Prop.erty Vir.gins. I also watch the renovatio.n shows. My dh and I bought a brand new "cookie cutter" house when we got married so there's nothing to be done now but eventually...I could see a kitchen update in our future. I personally would like different counter tops and cabinets. We'll eventually update the flooring to tile. Due to the fact I'm in grad school and we are paying for it ourselves (and the fact I sub part time) we can't do a whole lot now. Once I start teaching full time (unless God blesses us with a gaggle of children and I become a SAHM), we'll start the updating. Of course, if we are blessed with children we may need a bigger house...but as a couple w/o children...the house is basically perfect. I'm praying your DH gets a job soon. Good thing you are working. I thank God all the time for my DH's job. Whew. The scary thing right now is that since our dear pres has put the country in deeper debt...someone is going to pay and it's going to be the ones working. So we may be working for less soon (higher taxes, ugh). I won't get on that soap box. Anyway...I pray that that house will be yours. God bless.

  5. I loved the Disney cartoon with that house. I believe the Andrews Sisters sang their way through that skit. The one you want sounds like a lovely house. I think older houses have so much character.

  6. I think that it would be fine to change your name. You may want to do a transition period where you are using both together to get people used to it. I'm sorry that your landlords are being difficult. I hope that your DH gets a job soon so you can buy a house.

  7. Ugh, I so want a house, too!! I am thinking our "plan" of buying the remainder of the house that DH's company has some $$ in and getting "into" it by April is not going to happen. Not even close, probably. Right now it's just a frame, walls, and a roof. Not to mention it's not ours (entirely).

    Anyway, I usually just refer to bloggers as the title of their blog, because I'm too lazy to use the poster names. And I like condensing and abbreviating, so if you became the littlest angel, that'd make you LA, and that's the same as Living Advent. Which would mean I'd call you angel. Or being infertile (blog title).
    Truth be told, I never called you misfit because I didn't want to sound like I was insulting you... even if it was a self-proclaimed identity :)

    I like the angel reference, though, esp. since that angel photo you had was so similar to you! Do you also have lots of dead people behind you?

    GL with the housing situation- I hope the landlords stop being poo heads.

  8. My Internet just cut out and I think my comment didn't go through. argh.

    Anyways, I think the new header is very fitting.