Tuesday, November 6, 2012

store-bought pie crust is wrong

That's all.  I just wanted to say that.  Wrong

(OK, well, in the interest of having more than ten words in this post:
  • 1.5 sticks butter or (full-fat) margarine
  • 2 cups flour
Blend together with pastry cutter or sturdy fork with wide tines.  (They say two knives, but that sounds like silliness to me.)  Once it's all crumbled evenly, sprinkle in water in medium sprinkles; blend the water in and add more if it's still dry.  Once most of the mixture is mostly sticking together, abandon the fork, stop adding water, and mash the whole thing together with your hands.  If it's sticky when you finish, you added too much water.  (So add more flour.) 

Split it up 60-40.  Start with the bigger part.  Spread a large, flat-woven tea towel on a space of clean, dry countertop.  Toss a handful of flour on the right side of the tea towel.  Put the ball of dough on the flour.  Put more flour on the ball of dough.  Fold the other side of the tea towel over the dough.  Roll until it starts to be uncooperative (dough squishes out unevenly, there seem to be cracks, it is annoying you) - three to five good rolls.  Peel the tea towel back, flip the dough over, and flour over and under it again.  Repeat this until the dough is circular and 2-3 inches wider in diameter than your pie plate.  Fold the tea towel in half with the dough in, lift it over the pie plate, and dump it in.  Spread it out. 

Repeat this process with the smaller ball of dough, only roll it slightly smaller.  And don't put it on the pie until after you put the filling in.) 


  1. Well, I just bought 4 pie crusts at the store today (2 to a package). They were 2 for $5 and I had a $0.50 coupon - it was a great deal, I couldn't resist! :)

    Although if I ever get the nerve to try to do this myself, I will refer back to this post. I have lately been on a quiche making streak and make two a week - one to eat, the other to freeze for a different time.

  2. I use at recipe w/ lard + flour + vinegar + water. Super flaky.

  3. Thank you. Thank you for keeping it real. In the age of overwrought bloggers and gifs gone wild, thank you for your beautiful simplicity.

  4. EXACTLY.. though at this stage I kindof love I am the only person in my circle of friends who embraces the very simple art of pie crust. You invite me to dinner, I bring wine or pie. The wine works. But the pie gets such over the top praise for something I think is really simple. Half the time I don't ever remember to allow time to bake it. Yes, I am the girl who brings RAW pie to parties. and they worship me for me in a way that is only possible if they don't realize just how easy it is :)