Wednesday, August 8, 2012

facebook suddenly got better

My sister, who loves me, just emailed me to tell me that it may now be safe for me to join facebook.  Because of this

Come on, you should read the whole thing.  Here's a taste of why: the article's writer is a childless woman (but not an infertile woman, which means she doesn't fully understand the oppression-by-baby-pictures phenomenon - no doubt it's one she intends to participate in herself, at some future date).  She doesn't plan to use the technology described, as she finds it adequate to scroll past the baby pictures of others.  But I think she accurately captures a concerning social phenomenon (separate and apart from the issues that accompany infertility), which she terms "Facebook's gradual evolution into yet another way that smug parents can force the world to look at their unremarkable children." 

In other words, even if I weren't having problems having children, even if I had a great huge brood of my own, the self-obsession that causes so many parents to plaster not their own refrigerators but the entire world with photographs of their young is not an admirable thing.  And it is a new thing.  My mother did not do this.  My mother also told her kids that we had to listen to our teachers, and the other adults in town, and she would have laughed until she cried if someone had suggested that we were perfect, extraordinary, and incapable of error.  Because she knew us.  Sometimes I wonder whether the average parent these days has met his children...

I just like to think that infertility gives me a special insight into this.  And a special appreciation of the beneficent google that has provided cats to remedy this situation. 

But I'm still not joining. 


  1. I have to admit that if we were facebook friends you would hate me right now. Since I've been home with baby Jackson, my entire world has been about him with very little time for much else in my world. I think I managed to vacuum yesterday and cook dinner and I felt like that was an accomplishment. I think once I return to school it will be easier to talk and think about other things. By the way, I understand if you stop reading my blog, but I'll still be popping in here, because I love all you have to say about random topics and all your lovely shopping finds!

  2. I might have made this clear before but I'm not on facebook either. Haven't been for several years. I quit for two reasons: I was concerned about my privacy being obliterated and all the people I wanted to hear about NEVER updated their profiles and those I didn't care a twit about, did incessantly throughout the day.

    That said, one particular status update really did bother me and question the whole facebook phenomenon for me. A former co-worker that I still kept in touch with on a limited basis and really liked announced her pregnancy on FB by saying this, "I just felt the little one kick."

    I thought this was a shitty way to tell your friends you're pregnant and by the baby kicking, she was REALLY pregnant so she'd been hiding this miracle from me for several months. And this was all before I knew I was infertile so I can stand by my opinion as totally uninfluenced by my status.

    The thing sounds really clever and would probably use it if I were still stupid enough to be on facebook. Seriously, I don't get why people use it when billionaire techies and bankers are making money for probably just one more year until the stock drops to $0.50, on the ability to sell you crap. That's what it's there for, to entice you to buy crap. That's it. OK, I'm ranting.

  3. Oh, that is so funny! I don't really have a need for that since my f.b friends do not post too many baby pics...but it is a novel idea for IF'ers that can't take one more pic of baby and of all the gloating and ooohhhing and ahhing that goes with it. I prefer to took a pics of animals.

  4. I saw that on geekology, and even as a person who does post baby pics, I thought this was hilarious and awesome and should've been invented ages ago. And I think you are smart to not be on fb. About 90% of the time, I kind of hate it. I need to break the addiction.