Sunday, January 1, 2012


It feels odd to write that, doesn't it? I'm not going to do a retrospective on 2011. While many had a far worse time of it than I did, and I frankly count myself lucky to have got out of it as painlessly as I did, there are a lot of episodes from this year on which I'd do better not to dwell.

On the other hand, I embark on my ideas for 2012 thoughtfully, but in good spirits, and for that, I have last night to thank. Yes, I am so tired now I'm nearly catatonic; I needed to sleep until noon, at least, after getting to bed not much before 5AM, and didn't get the chance to do that. But I can sleep in tomorrow. Last night, I went to a New Year's Eve party hosted by some friends of mine - several dozen people, party at their house, nothing really out of the ordinary. But in the many hours of that evening, in addition to sampling some delicious treats and getting a kick out of getting all dressed up and seeing others in their finery as well, I got to enjoy a number of blessings on which I don't reflect enough.

One friend turns out to be a truly accomplished pianist, and spent an hour playing accompaniments for every Christmas carol, Auld Lang Syne, and one Journey hit, while a roomful of people sang along - three, four, and five verses of some of the loveliest carols, including the first verse of Adeste Fideles in Latin. When I looked around and realized a good dozen of my friends have those words memorized, it warmed my cold little heart. I got to get to know better some truly lovely people, and catch up with some people I already know to be wonderful. I got to be at least a spectator to little bits and snatches of innocent intrigue as new romances may, perhaps, be formed, which I always find so delightful. And after the bulk of the revelers had gone home, a small group of us sat around and chatted for an hour, making predictions for 2012, pondering our resolutions, and generally enjoying one another's company.

The gathering was notably lacking a number of people - that is, all the ones with children. I believe several of those couples got together to hang out with the kids asleep all in one house, which is just as it should be - babysitters are prohibitively expensive on New Year's Eve, I know, and that sounds like a nice evening too. But the 5AM bedtime, rousing rounds of carols, and tuxedos and gowns were particular to the party I attended. While everyone's favorite comments about childlessness affording blessings like sleeping in and time to oneself are of course empty and therefore obnoxious, there are real advantages that I often forget.

Because I don't have to dedicate my time and energy to raising children, my time is always available for the other adults in my life whom I love. The joy of spontaneous small gatherings is available to me in ways it would not be if I were a mother. I've developed friendships with wonderful people whom I would never even have met were I home taking care of children. I've gotten to remain a part of the lives of my single friends whom I would nearly never see if we had a family to attend to. I'm not sure why the mommy crowd says things like, "Be glad you get to sleep in," instead of, "Be grateful for the opportunity to get to know wonderful new people," but perhaps they simply are not aware of the blessing they're missing in that regard. Today, I am, and I'm grateful.

So, on to 2012. I think I've screwed up every resolution I've had in the past, so quickly and so badly that I've never even gone back to check how I'm doing. I'm sure this year will be no different. Nevertheless, I'm doing it again:

1. Finish my HCG shots, quit fertility treatment, and go on a drug regimen to manage my endometriosis.*
2. Get to daily Mass before work - maybe not every day, but a whole lot more than not at all.
3. Write and submit for publication at least one law review article.
4. Fit into the formal dress I bought in 2008, and find an occasion to wear it.
5. Remodel my kitchen.
6. Persuade my husband to throw a party at our home at least every other month.
7. Be more punctual for work.
8. Be a better wife.

That probably covers enough things (that are moderately within my control) to cover what I'd like to see in 2012, and to ensure that I will make no serious pretense of completing the list.

*If you feel even mildly tempted to suggest that I should consider a third laparotomy instead, I invite you to ponder the fact that only a raving lunatic would find major surgery preferable to medication, and I am crazy, but not that crazy. In some ways, the IFosphere is seriously cracked.


  1. Happy New Year Misfit! I look forward to your adventures in 2012, particularly your kitchen remodel (since I can't afford to do one since I spent my savings on my third and fourth surgeries).

  2. Happy Happy New Year my love!

    For my birthday my sister gave me a gorgeous little box for dinner parties with funny little interview questions on it.
    I am desperate to have a dinner party now just so I can know my friends most mortifyingly embarrassing moment of their lives...So I can feel better about mine.

    Fly to Australia so you can come.
    We can make snide comments about the fertile woman across the road WHO IS PREGNANT WITH HER SIXTH CHILD!


  3. I love your comment about surgery...I've been thinking about it again myself. Ugh! I doubt I'll go through with it though since my childbearing years are over. I hope you have a great 2012 and here's to keeping to our new year's resolutions. A law article huh? Peer reviewed?

  4. Happy New Year!
    I'm still trying to figure out if I should make any resolutions, since mine seem to fall by the wayside almost immediately. Couldn't hurt to at least attempt to change some things though, right?
    I, too, am looking forward to seeing more of your remodeling :).
    And, no pressure for a 3rd surgery here, but I'll take the opportunity to tout the wonders of natural progesterone cream again :). It's pretty amazing stuff, and my sister (who has suspected endo but no lap to confirm) has had a lot of success treating her pain with it. I believe there are several compounding pharmacies in your neck of the woods that would sell it.

  5. I like the resolution about the formal dress. Finding somewhere to wear it might be the challenge, or it would be around these parts anyway. I wish you luck and a Happy New Year.

  6. Happy New Year! I love your outlook on appreciating the blessings, you have exactly the right viewpoint on it, in my opinion. That party sounds REALLY fun!!

    The last part (asterisk) made me laugh...I'm the raving lunatic who DID have three laparatomies. :) But it was sort of by accident...hopefully I can still stake a claim on a tiny shred of sanity. :)

    Here's hoping 2012 is good to you, my friend!!

  7. Can I suggest dietary changes ;) Cheaper and in the long run much healthier than life-long (or reproductive-age long) medication.

    I love your list. And I think "get together socially with TCIE" should be up there, too.

  8. I have two children, really teens now, so while I am unable to stand in your shoes.... I can stand in support. In one of your previous posts, you brought up those who are single... that would be my childhood- college roommate. I've seen her struggle with being single (she's 41) for almost 20 years now. I've seen the saddness and depression that has resulted from not finding a life mate. And all I can do is stand in support of her... be an ear when she needs it, lend a hug when needed. I've seen her grow and seen God bring a group of friends to surround her. My God continue to surround you with those who can understand because they have stood in you shoes, are standing in shoes like yours and may you even find comfort from those who stand in support.... dee dee

  9. I love this reflection and wish I could have come to that party.

    Those are some big resolutions. Can't wait to see them all become realized.

    Happy New Year Dear One!

  10. And, yes the IF blogosphere is crazy at times.

  11. Love the description of the party- sounds like loads of fun! Can't wait to hear about your adventures in 2012!

  12. By the way, I love your pic. I watch the movie every year and even though it's kinda cheesy, I really enjoy it.

  13. i am so happy that you had such a great new year's eve! the party sounds really fun :) i like the idea of having a party at least every other month. when we lived up there, we used to have dinner parties with our friends all the time. you should check out the book called "dinner for eight" for awesome menus- she has everything from appetizers to wine pairings and it is organized to tell you what to do ahead, etc. i LOVED using it!!!

  14. Love your resolutions! Happy 2012!
    Yes, there are wonderful benefits to being childless ... thanks for pointing them out. I don't remember the "good parts" so often.

  15. Do you take bloodthinners and baby aspirin and fish oil. (I take all three :))

    I am reading your history with surgery and it tells me that blood thinners would be helpful to make the endometrium receptive and compensate for any former scar tissue...

    Have you had the viper test and the APPT test and Antiphospholipid test and testing for genetic mutations for blood clotting?