But that doesn't make this response the easiest one for me to take (fortunately it was sent to my DH so I actually don't have to reply), and honestly, if I send her a "how to deal with an infertile friend" guide, which at some point I may, it's mainly going to say, "Don't talk about your kids/pregnancy/labor/parenting issues unless I ask." That's all I really want.
Anyway. I'm actually posting today because I had a brilliant idea, and it involves YOU.
So there's a couple in our area we hang out with all the time who are also infertile. We go to a lot of the same parties, and often after one of these, when I'm thinking it will just be "Did you hear Joe has a new girlfriend?" and "Did you meet that Alice girl? She was a hoot!" instead we all find ourselves learning of appalling-to-have-with-an-infertile conversations that somebody had to endure. Sometimes multiple somebodies, but the most frequent victim is the other wife, because she's just so extremely nice that people (MEN) think they should tell her for 20 minutes running about the unbelievable blessings of parenthood that they could never have imagined beforehand and couldn't fathom living without (and if there is a capital punishment in the infertile penal code, which I would absolutely support, I think this offense is a good candidate for it).
Anyway, these post-party recaps that we often do are a frequent source of amusement, and (especially on my part) outrage. And it occurred to me that we should really institute a contest - after we take our leave, we should all evaluate and decide who was forced to endure the worst infertility-related situation at the event. I think this would add an element of sport to a phenomenon otherwise marked merely with dread. I'm still trying to sell the others on it, but I may be making headway. (I even mentioned the idea to Father, who heartily approved - he said it was particularly Catholic to find humor in suffering, and it seemed like a healthy response.)
So then I was thinking that it would be fun to have a sort of similar blog contest, since I always get such a kick out of hearing others' stories of this kind. Here is what I propose.
(1) The contest would be open for a whole month - say, until August 16. That way people who are traveling or only check blogs occasionally could play if they like.
(2) The contest would be for the worst infertility-related experience of its type. There would be several categories:
- most outrageous statement about infertility/children/parenting that has been made to you personally
- craziest infertility remedy suggested to you personally
- most outlandish infertility or TTC treatment/remedy/good luck charm you have actually done or used (must include results)
- most outrageous public backlash or spectacle you've ever engaged in regarding IF/TTC
- please suggest others I've missed!
(4) You must be infertile/secondarily infertile/RPL to play, whether you have kids or not, and whether you are still TTC or not.
(5) I'd have to judge subjectively, so I can't compete. I'd award some sort of silly prize - suggestions welcome.
(6) You can "enter" the contest by submitting your entry in a comment on this post, or commenting with a link to a blog post where you've discussed the occurrence you're using as an entry.
(7) Everyone is welcome to lobby for or against others' submissions!
I hope this will be a bit of infertility fun for everyone.