Tuesday, April 13, 2010

still with the protracted (and unjustified) drama

So, I'm sorry to leave hanging the itty-bitty (and rather foolish) drama I've created. But - and I doubt anyone will believe this, I don't really believe it myself - I forgot that I was supposed to test this morning until AFTER I had already gone to the bathroom. I guess I'll test tomorrow (unless my cycle starts - as of now, still late), in which case a negative test would be pretty definitive, and a positive would appear if it were going to, right? And I will update, promise.

I tried to think of a reason I could possibly be late other than that (since I still am! Which is weird!), and I actually came up with something. I've missed two periods ever - one at about 18 on an anorexic diet and exercise campaign that was clearly excessive and starved off most of my body fat. (And I still only missed one period.) The second time I was 19, and not exercising to lose weight - I walked quite a bit, just because of where I was living. I had eliminated snacks and all sorts of indulgences from my diet, as a matter of good discipline. I was eating nice healthy food (including meat and cheese), and three meals a day - but I had not tallied the calories. I would guess it was about 1000-1200, and with the amount of walking, that was not enough (almost, though). Within a month or two all my clothes were loose (I had been very thin to start with, so I recognized that as a problem) and I missed a period; at that point I added back some snacks and everything was straightened out.

At first I didn't think it was possible this could be happening now. Even after I got re-motivated for my fitness goals in the last couple of weeks, the fastest I lost weight was 2-3 pounds in about 10 days. That's not extreme, I don't think. On the other hand, my metabolism is much slower now, and to do that, I cut down to around 1000 calories (net after substantial exercise) - some days more, some days less. I'm happy with my progress (not too rapid, but consistent), but I guess it's possible I have put my system into shock temporarily.

I want to note that I have not starved myself into oblivion. Even now I weigh more than when I moved to DC in 2008 (at which point I had already gained weight I wanted to lose), and I can point to quite a number of places my body is hoarding fat even beyond what it had in my early twenties (when I was menstruating perfectly regularly), so I should still be producing estrogen and all that. Also, my current BMI is not in the underweight range, and it also won't be at my goal weight - I checked before setting the goal. Anyway, if my little fitness regimen is the cause, I expect all will be back to business in a month (by which time I may fit the last of my skirts again!).

And I guess I will know tomorrow, when I remember (I hope) to POAS.

The nice side of my husband's apparently invincible ignorance on all matters fertility-, cycle-, and TTC-related is that I doubt he has any idea that definitive results must be obtained in the morning, so it won't occur to him that I should have had a more definitive answer by now. Every cloud...

17 comments:

  1. Did your Dr.'s office not take a blood test?

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  2. Morning's the best time to test, but I actually tested in the evening when I got my BFP. I hadn't gone for a bit before that, so the hCG could have had a chance to build up in my system.

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  3. I am certainly hoping that you are "late" for reason #1 and not reason #2! Will be checking in tomorrow!

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  4. Lack of clarity stinks... praying for a (+) still!

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  5. Wow- I will be praying for a clear answer either way tomorrow!!!

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  6. You need to start charting your cycles so you can be as obsessive as the rest of us on the exact day you can test....none of this CD #. It's all about the post ovulatory number. Leave one kind of drama for another kind:)

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  7. This is so crazy!!! I hope that you get an answer tomorrow morning! I'm waiting with baited breath!

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  8. PISS ON THAT STICK NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;) Just to calm my nerves. :)

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  9. I too am waiting with baited breath! Come on Misfit, you can do it, put a little POASing into it!!! :)

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  10. Sitting here...trying to be patient....failing miserably....praying for you...

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  11. Seriously, if you don't get a positive this cycle, you better chart so we can properly obsess. We will come after you :). Praying for you.

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  12. praying for you. I agree, maybe I am dense about poas due to hcg, but I have done it a time or two and never in the morning. I didn't even know about that rule. If I recall correctly, you only bought a two pack (smart girl given the reasoning) and so I guess in that case I would wait till morning so there wouldn't be any of this questioning. Sorry, rambling aloud comment...

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  13. I can't wait till tomorrow to hear what happens! good luck girl :)

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  14. Ok, I'm glad I didn't check your blog until now or I would have had this on my brain all day :) I will check back tomorrow. I hope you get your prayer buddy package from me soon. I made something too since I took a bit longer. Praying....will def. keep praying...

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  15. Invincible ingnorance - tee hee

    got my fingers crossed - you should be getting up no later than an hour from now, so at least my nerves are benefitting from my having come late to the party

    hang in there!

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