Sunday, April 11, 2010

jury still out: UPDATE: looks like a no

So I'm disappointed that I wasn't able to finish my planned seven days of Easter songs. (Also, I am trying to get a picture of my peep cupcakes but have been having difficulty. I'm not holding out on you.)

DH's uncle's funeral was awesome. He was a religious, and a lot of things about the (beautiful!) funeral Mass and celebration made me think about IF and how he affected so many lives - no children, obviously. It's easier for people (well, some people) to understand how his life wasn't "missing" anything than for an infertile married man or woman, but still thought-provoking and I am sure I shall ramble at length on this subject soon.

For now, though, I am glad to be back in my comfy little house. And I am sharing a small menstrual update (I know, you care):

Today is CD29. No sign of AF coming - no tightness or bloating. A wee bit of emotional fragility but with the funeral and all the people and some awkward IF questions/comments, really not that shocking.

I haven't had a CD29 in...a decade? (There was a year or so when I was a teenager when I had five-week cycles consistently, so it has happened.) In the last year or so while I've been in treatment, the good cycles with the healthy charts were 27 days. I don't believe I've even had a 28-day cycle. I haven't been taking temperatures, so no information there. And I was hoping to get in early enough tonight to go to the grocery store and get an hpt, but I didn't. Tomorrow is my annual exam with Dr. L/C, so I will let her know that I'm "late" (ha!) if I still am, and probably will get definitive results that way.

So anyway, today, it remains a mystery. I offer a small poll (since everyone cares):
(a) the misfit's cycle feels bad about the sixteen-day business last month and is trying to fix things by the law of averages
(b) this is a long anovulatory/late ovulation cycle [I've never had one] and the nonsense may continue for weeks
(c) the misfit has finally stopped menstruating for life, cold turkey
(d) AF is right around the corner - nothing odd about a 30-day cycle every now and again
(e) two months from now, the misfit will have a litter of adorable tabby kittens.
Hope everyone in blogland had a great weekend.

UPDATE: Got to pee in a cup (should there be an acronym for that?) at my annual exam. At which they also kindly conceded that I am over 5'7" (last time they said I was an inch shorter!), and told me my blood pressure was 100/65 (after surgery it went up to 115/65, which is not high, but I was still disappointed, so I'm glad it's finally come back down). I won't say what they said my weight was, because they're wrong.

Dr. L suggested I take clomid next, upon hearing about my irregular cycles. I still expect my next CD3 FSH draw will show that I'm premenopausal, and even if not, I'm really leery of taking more of that crap. Why do I have to be childless and have hysterical breakdowns, too? Who thinks that's a good idea? So I told her I would think about it.

I also told her that I was late and she kindly wrote me a scrip for prometrium, which I'll fill tonight, just in case; they can then call me if the test comes back positive and tell me what to do with the prescription. (While she agreed it made sense to get some progesterone supplementation, every word she said indicated she doesn't believe for a second that I'm pregnant. Not even a "wouldn't that be nice" before moving on to the plan for my next cycle. I don't resent that at all - I like knowing what she's thinking. It was interesting.)

En route home, I stopped by C.V.S and got a two-pack of HPTs. I thought $10.49 for two store-brand tests wasn't bad. (I could have gotten a better unit price on a three-pack of name-brand ones, but I won't use three this cycle and a little bitty unused HPT lying seemingly innocently in a drawer in the bathroom has the power to interfere with my brain waves, inhibiting my powers of rational thought.)

They're supposed to be early response, and I'm 2-3 days late, so I took one shortly after I got home. Clearly negative (even after I remembered about the waiting two minutes and fished it out of the trash). That leaves another one for the "FMU" tomorrow.

Being an idiot, I told my dh (traveling for work) that I was late and planning to take a test. He is already upset. I think I should just have told him after the fact that it was negative, or waited 'till I was sure it was positive, if that happened. He isn't inured to a monthly cycle of disappointment, because he just pretends none of this whole menstrual business is happening at all. He did, however, already request I cut down on caffeine. (When he knows I have very little as it is!) Twit.


  1. well....maybe just maybe??!! :)

  2. You know, it could be the unmentioned optiong "f". But since that wasn't listed, I'll go with e) kittens. They are adorable and they're a great distraction as they're tearing through your house and getting into positively everything. Have fun at today's appointment. I hope you're still late. :)

  3. I told my husband last week I thought you would be next, but my fortune telling skills aren't great. I'm hopeful for you!

  4. You know we are all going to be checking back for more news!!

  5. are describing symptoms many other prego bloggers have described in the beginning. I'm excited for you and look forward to (+) updates!!! Praying!!!

  6. I am going with option f) - "God has decided to let the Misfit's ovaries know who truly is in charge and Baby Misfit is getting all nestled in for an exciting 9 months." But, please if you are pregnant, can you come up with a better moniker than Baby Misfit, I would rather pray for a Baby M, etc. :) God Bless and you are in my prayers! I so hope this is your time!

  7. Oh Darn! I just read your update. Clomid huh? It didn't do anything for me except to deplete my uterine lining and I had some crazy hot flashes. However, it was the magic pill for others. Does early menapause run in your family background? Hoping you'll be joining all the others in announcing baby "M"..I had to laugh at JBTC's comment on baby misfit. Ha! I was really thinking you were next...and you may still be. Praying for you!

  8. I was trying to comment at work, but my computer was going bonkers. I'm so sorry that the stupid POAS was negative. Beans!

  9. looks like a no or is a no? Just askin' Maybe I already asked this, but I was put on 25 mg of clomid on CD 3,4,5 (I never ovulated previously) and it worked (via peak plus 7) so I didn't have to up dose and deal with side effects. Very grateful. Any chance you could go on lower dose and still be effective and not have side effects? I never realized how lucky I am that I didn't struggle with that PITA, but I am now

  10. So sorry.

    How many days past peak are you? What makes you think pre-menopause? I like clomid, but wouldn’t take if you have had bad experiences on it. I’m also a fan of having your uterine lining measured while on it b/c of how it effects people differently.

  11. Yuck. I hate cycles like these. I am very very rarely late...I think I have been twice or something. I HATE being late. Ugh!!

    But if you do happen to have kittens can I adopt one ;)

  12. Oh . . . and I do want to see a picture of the peep cupcakes if you ever get it to work.

  13. Sorry that you are in the limbo of being late but having a negative HPT. I hope that if you don't get e or f, then your body is relatively normal next cycle. Are you planning to chart when/if it comes around?

  14. I'm hoping the hpt will give you a different answer in the morning. the cycle of hope/disappointment is just exhausting.

    Have you discussed femara (aka tamoxifen) with your doc, instead of Clomid? It seems to work in a similar way but w/o depleting the uterine lining. (sorry if I'm repeating stuff you knwo already?)


  15. Sorry, I'm a little late on this one. And sorry to tantilize your hopes for a few more hours before AF comes around, but maybe you've had late ovulation and late implantation. That would equal negative hpt now but positive in a few days.