Friday, March 12, 2010

indelicate questions

No, no - nobody has asked recently when I'm going to have kids already (though I can sense it coming; stay tuned in the next few weeks). This is an indelicate question for you all.

So I may have mentioned here before that my dear husband has a somewhat unorthodox acquaintance with basic science. I could get him to take almost any supplement by citing some health benefit (even if highly tenuous or eccentric, or if I were totally making it up). After my IRL IF friend who sees Dr. H mentioned that her husband was taking maca (herb) to improve sperm quality, I just waited a week, and sure enough, my dh (who still hasn't had an SA. We'll get there...) said he thought he should probably take some too. (As I mentioned, I found it for a reasonable price at the Vitamin

Anyway, his unskeptical approach doesn't just extend to matters biochemical. Physiology comes into it as well. Physiology includes sexual techniques...

His sources on this subject are somewhat more reliable, because instead of the idea being "so-and-so read in a health magazine [infomercia, rumor] that if you..." I get the idea that it's "so-and-so says you can enhance your lovemaking if you..." and I assume here that these guys have discovered this through empirical evidence (though I am starting to think that no two women, or men, are really alike in this area. I guess Cosmo's 99 or 100 monthly orgasm tips aren't as valuable as I'd been led to believe). I have tried not to think too much about what sort of conversations they must be having about their wives to gather this information. Anyway.

The indelicate part is really starting now, I warn you.

So I think I'd actually heard myself that female orgasm increases the chances of conception (but not like male orgasm!). But recently my dh trotted out the notion - source unspecified - that extra, er, transvaginal stimulation, beyond what would necessarily be involved anyway, is supposed to increase the chances of conception...further? This doesn't strike me as intuitively sensible. I can't see how it's the sort of thing that would have occurred to the species naturally, nor what sort of methods would be indicated.

But, as I told him, I am tapped into a community of people who would know the answer to this if anybody would. And he was fine with me soliciting commentary from the internet at large, so lay it on me!* Does this sound right to you?

It does occur to me, now that I'm on the subject, that the IFers who get knocked up kindly share the 71 supplements and 19 prescriptions they took to conceive that cycle, but I've never seen anybody post, "We've narrowed the date of conception down to two possibilities, and it might be valuable for you to know that we engaged in the marital act in zero gravity on both occasions. Happy conception, y'all!" And don't tell me this is because these things aren't happening. I know better.

If I thought it would catch on, I would declare March 12-April 12 Infertile Sex Tips Month, because I am finding this topic so amusing. (Would it catch on?) Anyway, I want to hear aaaalll the loony sexual information you have that relates to infertility - or if it doesn't; what the heck. I moderate comments (Asian por.nspammer: this means you). If you don't want it attached to your name (or your "name"), email it to me and I'll add it to the comments as anonymous quotes, or comment anonymously.

*I experimented with several other phrases of the same meaning, and they all sounded sexual. So I gave up and went with that.


  1. I don't have any advice to give...but I will be checking back for comments from others.

    I agree...if the big "O" meant a big "BFP" we would know about it...oh would be mentioned. Not too much is held back in the IF world. Whatever can help.

    hmmm...interesting topic. Hoping those new vitamins bring you some success!!!

  2. LOL ... I love if!! If I was ever "successful" I would be giving you tips up the .. erm, wazoo? If you get any good suggestions, pass them on to me!!

  3. I have to admit that when we had our "natural" pregnancy in February, it was a direct result of some new "unorthodox" positions. DH is convinced that we got pregnant on our own because at the time of conception, we were on vacation in the sand dunes which is his favorite place on earth...he is using that as an excuse to convince me to go back. LOL

  4. The reason that a female org.asm is beneficial is that it causes the cervix to contract (basically dip in and out of the vagina where the sem.en is sitting). Now...this works best (or only works?) if there is sem.en waiting after the male orgasm has already happened.
    So, basically, however you manage to have an org.asm after your husband has finished his side of things...would be beneficial.
    Hope this helps! (You should have some fun search terms linking to this post :).)

  5. I have heard that and I also heard the more the man is sexually stimulated the better the ejaculation. :) I can guarantee that there was not female O when we conceived. We just were doing it because it was time!!! hahahaha So who knows.... I bet it can't hurt but I think taking my 602 supplements every day are the key factor-NOT. ;)

  6. I have been told that the man should orgasm first, then the woman orgasm's second, and this somehow sucks up more sperm faster. Then you need to lift your butt really high for 30 min... so far this definatley didn't work! and it kinda sucks for me! lol

  7. hm, i don't know but i look forward to other answers! heaven knows i thought we had tried everything...

  8. i can't answer the question - in our situation a week in the suyus capsule would't do a bit of good. however, do you mean extra-vaginal or trans-vaginal? and that boy has got to do an SA. it's unpleasant, but so is what you're going through - i am blown away that your doctors will even consider treating _you_ (doing invasive procedures!) without his having had one.

  9. I’m afraid my sex imagination is weak. I’m going to have to require specifics from your husband.

    Going on what others have said, my knowledge on the subject is in line with what callmemamma & Suzie said. I’m a believer in the O happening and helping and frankly, no one is leaving until it happens, but whether it is before or after him . . .eh. I’m not a stickler and beggars can’t be choosers.

  10. From one I have read, it is possible that a woman Oing after a man allows for what CallMeMama said to happen.
    In addition, I just watched a special called "Sperm Race" in which case they mention that the more excited the man is the further back (newer) the sperm are. Newer sperm should be healthier and live longer. DTD every other day during the fertile time is best to have the newest sperm with enough time to build up supply.