Monday, February 8, 2010

where there's snow

Though the snow has hampered actual visits, I have of course been continuing to think about how to remake the house to be gorgeous on a modest budget. In that search, I found this fascinating venue. Anybody out Baltimore way interested in architectural salvage? Another infertile gal (whose identity is secret from the internets! Hahahahaha!) and I are planning to go, so drop me a line if you want to join in.

Also, I have to share something important with all of you. My love affair with Weird Al's parodies began when I was but a wee teen and heard "Trigger Happy" for the first time. So I arrived at the scene late - I think I was still a toddler when his first album came out. So sue me. Anyway, it seems obvious to me that the man is a genius; at minimum, extremely gifted. As far back as I can remember, the morally upright thing for extremely gifted people to do was get very high marks in math class and do their homework religiously. As an adult, and particularly an adult who has had her notions of vocation and life plan called into unexpected question, I find it fascinating that people find such very varied things to do with their, in many cases, considerable gifts.

Clearly, in this master-work, Mr. Yankovic has shared something of particular value to the infertile community. While the first verse is heavily scatological and might be something you don't want to hear for the first time in mixed company, I think he encapsulates in verse an experience that resonates with many of us. Elsewhere, he touches on unorthodox marital and procreative arrangements, and there, too, my heart was warmed. I suppose that "Alabama" fit his syllabic requirements better than "West Virginia" would have done, so I can forgive the cultural inaccuracy.

Other than my consumption of this and similar artistic triumphs, I have been enjoying homemade hot cocoa, doing the odd bit of shoveling, inhabiting my couch, reading library books, and pondering the subject of paint colors (ever the meditations on my house - no offer yet, though I have lately renewed my commitment to the tan house, and in particular to its location, for reasons I would probably find hard to explain).

I will not defile this space with comments about how I managed to have a twenty-two day cycle on the tamoxifen. The reason I couldn't figure out when peak day was was because it evidently was on day eight - yes, the day after I took my last tamoxifen pill. Since I'm not taking any medicine this cycle, it's looking strongly as though day seven will be peak day. I know that perimenopause brings shortened periods, but I was not under the impression that they shortened instantly and by half. I also wasn't aware that the laparotomy to remove the adhesions could bring on perimenopause that was not previously in evidence, but the entire infertility journey for me has been one of discovering never-mentioned side effects only after they have become irreversible and dire, so this would really be nothing out of the ordinary. Fortunately, however, I am not going to discuss any of that.

I will, however, accept prayers for my half-siblings. The sane(r) members of my family have discussed attempting to intervene in the inevitable custody proceedings, but we can't even come up with a good outcome to lobby for. In ten years when they are promiscuous and involved with illegal drugs, I am going to cry, because I knew it would happen; and I know what will happen now, and I want to head it off, and I don't have a single idea what to do. I think these kids would actually be better off if both parents were hit by a mack truck tomorrow. God forgive me, but I do.


  1. Well, let's pray for the unexpected in your half-sibs' cases: that the messed up beginnings lead to amazing adulthood. It does happen. I've seen it with a couple childhood friends: after a period of serious crap (like squatting in a condemned building, dumpster diving for dinner, getting knocked up by a heroin addict, you know the tune), they turned into absolutely stunning, hard-working, productive and caring adults. It's not impossible...

    Darn, I wish I lived near you! I'd love to drink some cocoa and then poke around the architectural salvage places.

    Enjoy the next bout of snow!

  2. I wish I had any ideas about an intervention for the kids, but my mind is a blank. Maybe - just maybe - the parents would be better off without the influence with each other and they'll start using their heads? Wishful thinking, I guess.

    I like you choice in Weird Al songs. I haven't listened to him in years. Unfortunately, I was in high school when he was at the height of his pouplarity.

    You can't be going through perimenopause yet (okay, maybe you can), but your body is certainly rebelling. You had a nice luteal phase, at least. That's what's shortened for me the closer I get to the big M.

  3. So you think you have the beginnings of perimen.apause? Hmmm....interesting. Have you checked on that with a dr? Could your short cycles be due to the meds? I'm just questioning for you are still very young...I have a neighbor whose mother and other women in her family go into mena.pause early in life but it's a genetic thing. IS that the case with you? I'm sure a dr can run some b/w to check your hormones to confirm. I'm hoping that it's just the meds. :)

    I'll keep your half siblings in my prayers. Lord willing, they'll be able to overcome obstacles in their life in a healthy way and not resort to drug.s and other illegal activities. Praying, praying, praying.

  4. I love Weird Al! (Kind of wondering if you chose the words "So Sue Me" intentionally while writing about it)

    Don't really know what to say about the kids. I know that it can really hurt to watch these kind of circumstances forced apon children that we love and there isn't anything that we can do about it. I will add them to my prayers as well and we can hope that everything turns out well for them.

  5. Sorry about the continuing crazy cycle stuff. I'm definitely keep your half-siblings in my prayers. Do they live close to you so you can help keep them on the right track?

  6. Hi Misfit! I hope there are no hard feelings...I just saw your comment on Sissy's blog. If I lived closer, I would offer to come and clean your house too...I have enough stress to spread the love (and cleaning) around! We could barter - I will clean for will do some house hunting for us and give us your expert opinion. (We are hoping to move in the next 2 years but I am not that keen on the whole looking process). However, I don't know if you want to come all the way to MN for that, so maybe you could do it online! Just kidding! I hope you are doing well and enjoying your time off (I assume you are not working given all the snow in DC)? God Bless!

  7. Too funny! Thanks for the comment on my blog and yes, I knew you were kidding about the cleaning! I should have been more explicit...I do enjoy your sense of humor and that is why I thought it would be fun to reply. In regards to house hunting, I don't like it...well, I hate all shopping in general. And, yes, I might ask to tap into your expertise down the road. For now, we are just doing some looking on our own (primarily my husband), but I need to call the big guns in soon. I don't have much experience in terms of realtors, so I might have to bounce some questions off of you. Have a good rest of the week and seriously...I will come clean for you. But I don't think I will be getting into the DC area anytime soon! :)