Tuesday, October 13, 2009

jiggity jig

My powers of persuasion excelled, and though Dr. L apparently originally intended that I would be discharged Thursday, they let me go home when my dh came by after work and I am now happily installed on my beloved couch with a soft well-worn comforter. The bubble of gas (that they insert for the surgery so they can see everything, and then try to remove but never seem to get all of) has traveled to various places, including both shoulders, but the biggest part seems to be lodged somewhere behind my sternum. It makes every position uncomfortable, and I wish it would go away.

Also, Dr. L said that I do have an omega option - if I don't get pregnant, I can have both ovaries removed and the endo won't come back. So I don't have to spend the rest of my life getting surgery every five years to preserve organs that don't work.

It gives me an interesting dilemma for the next year - do I travel back to being what I can't stand being, someone who takes a positive and hopeful attitude toward every month's opportunity to ttc? Or do I descend into the depths of bitterness and refuse even to seriously acknowledge the one-year window that has a greater likelihood than we've ever had previously, and just wait it out so I can schedule the removal of my ovaries?

It briefly occurred to me that I can cut the Gordian knot by choosing neither option - and simply giving the matter wholly up to God, being a decent sport about ttc (as we always are anyway), but not becoming invested, and just figuring that He'll pick the option He wants and I'll know when it happens. Look at that - an opportunity for the true Gelassenheit that I haven't had in ever so long. I may be able to pull that off - especially as it would be aided by the fact that I really don't know which attitude I prefer (hope or fatalism), nor which outcome. Or I may not.

So I will take all this under consideration.

Also, please pray for my dh, if you would. He is having a very bad October.

13 comments:

  1. Are there risks/cons to removing ovaries other than eliminating fertility? I always thought it would then result in other hormonal problems. Not that the risk wouldn't be worth stopping endo from growing to some, but I was just curious.

    Glad to hear you're home! I also was released the next day, rather than three days later, which was a nice surprise. Praying for your husband.

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  2. I'm pretty sure that ovary removal prior to natural menopause gives lots of issues (similar to what GIMH has to deal with). According to Dr. Google, endo can recur after total hysterectomy and ovary removal.

    I'm glad to hear you're home and I'll be praying for your DH.

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  3. october sounds like it's hitting the husbands pretty hard -mine's having quite the month too - prayers coming his way.

    removing the ovaries.. interesting. i guess my question is similar to aywh - is there any hormone replacement or anything if they are removed?

    so glad the surgery is over and went well, and that you are home. i have to agree, that trapped air is the worst part.

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  4. That gas pain really stinks. I found a heating pad helpful and also putting biofreeze underneath my left rib cage helpful, too.

    I find it better for my overall health to be hopeful than bitter. I enjoy my daily life more that way, but just a thought.

    Enjoy your time on the couch!

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  5. So glad to hear that you're home! Seems like you US girls get discharged so much more quickly then we do up here!

    My first reaction to having your ovaries removed was fear. I agree with AYWH that removing your ovaries could cause hormonal issues. I guess you have to do some more research.

    I'll be praying for you and your dh! Enjoy the couch!

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  6. Removing the uterus and ovaries only ensures against future pain if ALL areas of endo has been excised, and if there is good evidence that the pain originates in the uterus...
    Did they confirm that you have adenomyosis?
    http://www.centerforendo.com/articles/indicationsforhysterectomy.pdf
    I'm sure you're not going to rush into anything...but if you lose both of your ovaries, you will be on hormones for the rest of your life :(.

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  7. Some option your doctor's given you. I prefer the third. I know I commented yesterday that you were bouncing back fast: I didn't realize how fast. It's always good to be home.

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  8. So glad that you are home and recovering on your own couch! Praying that you continue to heal and that your fertility is restored.

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  9. Oh, yes, Dr. L did mention that I'd have to be on hormone replacement at least until natural menopause if I have the ovaries removed. She also said that we could discuss more details of that surgery if it comes to that - probably she would rather have me focus on the things I should be doing for the next year. (I would guess I have one of the more dismal outlooks among her patients.) And they confirmed that I have adenomyosis in my original surgery five years ago, but I never did figure out exactly what that implies. I suppose at some point I need to spend a lot more time with Dr. Google.

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  10. HATE the shoulder gas pain. That was so not fun after I had my gallbladder out. Blec.
    Praying for you and your husband.

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  11. After my recent laparotomy my RE told me the next surgery will be to remove everything. It would almost be a relief to never have to wonder again each and every month if I am pregnant.
    Take care of yourself and I hope you heal beautifully.

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  12. I was on the verge of getting lapro surgery on several occasions to search for endometriosis, but the concept of the gas bubble always freaked me out and I cancelled whole strings of appointments as a result.

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  13. ovary removal is quite scary. hmm... in other news I left you a surprise on my blog.

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