Last week it occurred to me that it had been a little while and I might want to call in today to check up on those. I was going to today, but I just didn't (see leaden carcass, above). But at 6pm - she called me! I feel like a high school girl. I got a phone call!! Speaking of which, I was one of the girls who got asked on exactly zero dates in high school, which, in retrospect, was a blessing. But have you ever thought about whether you'd have had normal fertility - no endo, no POF, blah, blah, blah - if you'd just gotten knocked up at sixteen?
Anyway, here's what she said. Second testing also says I have no thyroid antibodies - so no Hashimoto's. Good, but if I didn't inherit it, why am I hypothyroid? Could poor exercise and depression actually *cause* this?
Also, when I was planning to call her, I was going to ask whether she could move my TSH target range to 1-2, rather than under 3 (in response to everyone's wonderful advice). But apparently no need - she says my level is 1.4! (Or was that 1.48?) Previously it was over 7.
So that's good news. Well, largely. It does mean that hypothyroidism was not the cause of my IF, since I had been on that dose for two months when my blood was drawn. And today is CD2. (On the other hand, with my insides being a veritable multimedia collage of damage and disease, and virtually every hormone level abnormal, who really believed that a little synthroid was all I needed?)
The other thing is that I was hoping my TSH was still very high and I needed to double my dosage of synthroid. I still feel exhausted all the time (I know the not sleeping is part of that), and slow and heavy, with no endurance at all. I've been going to the gym at work to do biking and stairs (I *will* conquer the hips), which should build muscle mass. If it's made a difference so far, I haven't noticed. I can do maybe five minutes before I'm exhausted. Is it possible that all the cysts and adhesions and gas and abdominal pain are taking so much out of me that I always feel weak and sleepy? I feel so old. I'm not ready to be old yet.
In far less ambivalent news, a week or two ago I noticed a bug on the kitchen counter (and squashed it). I didn't recognize it, but there are lots of bugs in VA I've never seen before (and I don't like any of them). I figured I'd find out what it was eventually. I've squashed about one a day since then, and one, maybe two, has gotten away.
Today, I realized I'd also noticed a gradual change in their appearance. The first one was gray (and vaguely resembled a pill bug). The one I killed this morning was slightly larger, and shiny and brown-black. I walked to the bus stop with a heavy heart, mystery solved. Hideous internet pictures confirmed my suspicions. Tonight I am buying every version of roach poison I can find. I caught it early. I hope. But I am distraught. I know they're very hard to get rid of (thank God we have a house, and no super-close neighbors).
I feel this is a grave judgment on me as a person. Sure, I have a few dirty dishes in the sink, but I've never had a spotless kitchen, and I've never had roaches before! What kind of person brings roaches into a roach-free home? I hope I can make inroads into the population before my husband gets home. That will make me feel a little better.