Friday, June 26, 2009

yeah, it came back

And yes, I did wonder - totally against my better judgment that said it was clear that this was the wrong time for implantation pain and could be easily and obviously explained by the tamoxifen - whether the funny cramps might not be something else. But when I woke up this morning, my stomach felt just faintly painful, and it was the old familiar - I knew. I had predicted today would be CD1 (for which I'm reasonably pleased with myself - peak day was a total guess because of the screwy CM and missing temps, and I'm on a new medication, but I was still dead on!).

Frankly, I wouldn't have known what to make of a pregnancy this month. I neither deserve nor want to be rewarded for being hopeless and bitter. So while the removal of a possible fun surprise was a mild disappointment, really, it's just as it should be, and life goes on. I'm even in a good mood, which is a bit unusual for CD1. (We shall see whether it lasts.)

And maybe some of you expert-type people will agree with me that (other than the CM disaster) there are mild improvements. Though apparently not to my image-posting skills [IT'S UNREASONABLY TINY AGAIN - ARGGHHH!]. I would say "check it out," but you really can't see this and it doesn't appear to have linked to a larger version of itself (!!!):

4 comments:

  1. Bummer!

    But way to go on totally pin-pointing when AF would be due!

    And I can't really see your charts, but you already know that....but yay for even slight improvements! =)

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  2. Darn it! Hey, I was rewarded for being the surliest IF patient ever, so why not you, too? I think God has a divinely huge sense of humor, and it's as inscrutable as his/her will. :)

    There is a nice ol' rise in the latest one. Interesting, though, that your temps were lower post-o than in previous cycles. That could be a fluke, but if the pattern continues, might be worth mentioning to your doc.

    May AF be merciful.

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  3. well fudge.

    i guess you will discuss the cycle at your followup appt this week?

    i sure hope God has a baby surprise in store for you soon!

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