Tuesday, May 5, 2009

speaking of menstrual bleeding

Which we were, right? Oh, good.

I know no one can live without knowing all the most intimate and gratuitous details of my cycle (except the approximately six billion people who don't know who I am), so I'll share, because the change has been sufficient to cause me to remark upon it to myself.

I remark,

"Self? You know how when you started charting again recently, you realized that you had only one day of heavy flow per cycle, and one very light, and all the rest spotting? And how when you wrote that down, you realized that that was consistent with how it had been for, maybe, a year or more? Or several?"
And I respond,

"Yes, I do remember."
"Well, then, isn't it interesting that the last cycle ended with pink spotting, not brown, and you are now on your third day of pretty heavy flow?"

"Interesting is one way to put it. Another way to put it is that no one over fifteen should have panty casualties of the kind you've been racking up. And you know what that means."

"PANTY SHOPPING!"

And it's true.

I understand that this isn't really remarkable. My periods are now slightly more normal than they have been for - well, a while. Of course, this has happened without the use of any drugs, nor a change in diet or exercise. So it doesn't really imply some fundamental improvement. My cycles are also the same length (25 days, give or take 1-2, but usually exactly 25).

Also, I was going to be all enthusiastic about four days of slippery CM last cycle (which is what my chart reads), except that it was sort of briefly there and then gone, each of those days. I have an explanation for this, however: on what was shaping up to be the first day of serious slippery, somebody decided to thread some surgical implements through my cervix, and it went on strike. It's not like I can blame it. The only problem is, that's scheduled to happen about the same time in my next cycle, too, and if the good ol' cervix gets out of the habit of doing one of the few things my reproductive system was doing right, maybe it will quit for good. You never know.

At any rate, lest I give the wrong impression, this very minor alteration is not even possibly an indication that I am pregnant (you'll have to look to Sew and AYWH for how to menstruate when you're knocked up). No fancy nausea or peeing frenzy here - just, well, more menstrual than usual.

P.S. Is it me, or does it seem like a lot of gals are in synch with the menstruation around here? I, for example, am on CD3. And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. In college, of course, within a month or so all the girls on the same floor would synchronize their cycles (and then that one rotten girl on BCP would mess up the whole vibe and make everyone miserable all the time). And one of the boys would observe that everyone was PMSy at the same time, and one of the other guys would say, Wouldn't it be weird if that could happen? But I know you're totally pulling my leg (they are crabby, though!), and then some guy with sisters would patiently explain, Estrogen is airborne, dude, they really are in synch, and spend the night with your buddies the first through third of next month, if you have any sense at all.

Well, apparently that guy only knew half the story, because it turns out that estrogen is internet-borne as well.

12 comments:

  1. You seriously crack me up! Okay, I am going to steal the picture, post it on my blog, and I am not waiting to get your permission. Then I will be back to continue my comment. BRB

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  2. Your panty casualities kills me! So when my niece was here I really learned to love the spot remover! I thought,hell, I am the queen of spotting, maybe it can tackle my spotting issues. So I sprayed it down. And now, wait I will BRB because those spotted panties are now in the wash. Hold on.

    It was still on the soak cycle. So I won't be able to give you an update on how the spot remover truly worked.

    I wonder if that will add to my IF since it is probably chemicals!

    I totally love the test on my blog! That is how I feel! ;) Thanks for letting me steal it!

    You crack me up! Your comments! OMG! I don't tell you enough because i Have been a horrible commenter as of late.

    :)

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  3. Woohoo for being more menstrual than usual! ;)

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  4. LOL @ the dialogue at the end. I totally believe it though! Right now, I'm on CD 7, so it's pretty close.

    Yay for your cycle regulating to 'more menstrual' though. lol

    My cycles are weird too. I usually have a day or two of spotting before AF, then two days of 'heavy', then one day of light and then back to spotting for a day or two. So odd.

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  5. My sister and I are almost always in "sync", and she lives 5 states away! I think estrogen can travel across phone lines too :)

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  6. Hmmm, I like panty shopping. I just bought some real doozies this weekend all meant for my husband. Well they're for me, but they're also for my husband to enjoy vicariously.

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  7. This is so FUNNY! It wouldn't surprise me if estrogen could travel via internet. I am glad to hear your period is acting more normal. That is great news. YEAH!
    ~Amber

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  8. Yeah, I still have some standby panties marked with the evil polyp's spotting schemes. Sigh.

    I, too, appeared to menstruate while technically pregnant after my ectopic. It was the worst of all worlds. :)

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  9. Oh my goodness! I'm on CD 2, I think? I'm doing the spot and go thing again this month.

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  10. I am worse now about having panty casualties than ever before. My drawer is full of blood stained panties. I have become such an irresponsible adult! When I read that too much information is about to be revealed I always eagerly read on! Carry on!

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  11. That pee stick is hilarious.

    Yeah, I have a similar cycle. 2 days of spotting followed by one or two super heavy days then done. Although this past cycle I had 2 days of spotting and that was it. Whoo hoo! Although pretty weird. No, I'm not pregnant.

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  12. Hah - I was CD 3 on Tuesday too! Cycle buddies!!! :)

    I have to say, ever since I got the Diva Cup, I've had many less ruined pairs of undies - I can pop that baby in before my period even starts - it's awesome!

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