Sunday, May 31, 2009

it's back

Apparently, my retrospective calculations were correct. This was not an anovulatory cycle (actually, I ovulated pretty much on time), my temperature change did indeed indicate ovulation, and the very slight indications of fertile CM were just what they appeared to be - but all there was. TCOYF says that stress can cause CM to dry up, so maybe that's all that happened. Either way, after what I approximate as a 12-day luteal phase (that's REALLY ballparked, given that "peak day" is unclear and I have to correct for the fact that my temperature always rises late), CD1 was yesterday. Which was the day of this wedding we were attending. It didn't really matter, because I was clever and packed a dress that wasn't snug on the tummy, naproxen, tampons, the whole nine yards (I guess I had faith in my own calculations even at the time). Unfortunately, because my endo is evil, it DID mean that I got such a stomachache (even WITH the Aleve) that we had to leave the reception really early - around 8, I think - but we snuck away, and we had already had our cake and watched the father-daughter dance, so all was well. That will teach me to consume food on the first day of my period. Like I've never gotten that lesson before.

BTW, I am confident that the bride is already knocked up even as I write this, which will form the final strain on a once-close friendship that didn't really thrive through her engagement and marriage (the groom is a great guy, but it was kind of impossible to spend any time with her after they started dating, and we weren't, I don't know, lifelong friends, where that wouldn't matter. Maybe I'm being unreasonable. Maybe I did the same myself! In fact, of course, I don't have any close law school girlfriends any more, although I had several before I started dating my DH. So, it happens, and it will happen to her too. Sorry, but priorities mean sacrifices. Also, when you call me in your second trimester and want to see how I'm doing since you haven't spent time with any of your friends in five months, and you ask me how my fertility treatments are going, that sudden phone static? Is a sign). Do not ask me why I am so bitter about this wedding, but I've felt this way throughout. Anyway.

I took my first B6 yesterday. Was supposed to take a second in the evening but I forgot. I'll take my second today, and maybe tomorrow (with my first tamoxifen!) I'll take two B6. Will report back on the CM results. We shall see.

4 comments:

  1. I had good CM on the B6 but the vitamin started to bother me so I quit. Getting off of the vitamin C also helped. I may try the B6 again which is the 500mg slow release. My napro dr had me order them from the pharm in NE. Good luck with all the meds and vitamins!

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  2. booooo AF!!! yay ovulation!!!!

    i also get horrible stomach pains when AF is around. i usually have a very healthy appetite, but as soon as CD1 arrives i can't eat. it may be because my body is protecting itself from horrible digestive distres (i LOVE the endo on my bowel!), or if my crazy hormones do it. i don't know if i will ever conceive, but i look forward to having all of this mess removed so i can lead a normal pain-free life!

    btw, i think that my body is trying to sympathize with yours. AF has arrived for me as well, but it's quite light and i don't have hardly any cramps. then again, i'm on l.upron and i'm not supposed to get my period!

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  3. I get so bitter when people magically get pregnant right away.

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  4. Just found your blog and misery loves company I guess...A few months ago when DH and I were struggling with our decision to adopt over more TTC a friend of mine (who knew the crap we had been through) called me AT WORK to tell me she was pg. And she wondered why I wasn't happy for her! People are unbelievable sometimes. Sorry you have to deal with it too. Like this isn't tough enough.

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