Just for you, Sew:
As you can see, it's electric (see the cord?). It actually works. It was given me by my MIL; it had been her (late) best friend's, when the friend was a girl. She wanted to make sure I would actually get some use out of it. I couldn't find the words to explain to her that although it's perfectly functional, I absolutely do not intend to use it - I plan to use the $200 Kenmore that I've had for years and does all my stitching - but the fact that I would never use this beauty to rehem my pants is precisely an indication of how much I do appreciate it. I hope I conveyed to her how much I love it...I feel kind of greedy, actually, because right now my house has three sewing machines (one belongs to my sister and I'm supposed to return it). Even after I return that one, though, do I need a functional one and a luxury one? I think I accumulate too many things.
But I still want my house. Part of me is inclined to think that I think I am extra entitled to have the house because I don't have a baby (rather than being able to justify wanting the house on account of how there will be a baby/babies - my original rationalization way back when, several imaginary houses ago). Because I think it will make me happy. I know, possessions don't make us happy...but is it possible that my house would anyway?
On a largely unrelated note, I have been realizing that I still do have lingering anger at those with children. Not at their children (I usually think they're precious), thank God, just at the parents. I don't want to be angry. I don't want to resent. I don't want jealously to guard what free time I have as my only consolation for not having babies, and refuse to sacrifice any of it to be kind to those with kids because they don't deserve my time since they have their babies. I want this experience to have made me more generous and giving...but it has made me colder, harder, and more selfish. Sigh. Next project...