Friday, January 23, 2009

What's Your Word?

ButterflyAnla shared this on her blog.

What's Your Word?

Your Word is "Hope"

You see life as an opportunity for learning, growth, and bringing out the best in others. No matter how bad things get, you always have at least a glimmer of optimism. You are accepting and forgiving. You encourage those who have wronged you to turn over a new leaf. And while there is a lot of ugliness in the world, you believe that almost no one is beyond redemption.
I answered all the questions honestly, but really, I don't think that's me. I think it could be...and probably should be...and maybe it will be. Maybe soon.

I have tried recently to make some small improvements. YESTERDAY, I ran into my one IRL friend who's also IF. She's been much more aggressive about pursuing treatment and has already secured an appointment with a specialist who's highly in demand. I've realized that after I stopped getting upset each time I lost the who'll-get-pregnant-first contest, I started getting annoyed if IRL IF folk who'd been TTC longer got into treatment sooner. (Even though I decided I was on a break. Yes, that's crazy.) So it's not easy to listen, but I just asked her as many questions as I could and really listened to the answers. Forging connections with other IF people. Not easy, but maybe worth it.

Another thing I'm going to do is work on listening to others more intently in general. Let them talk; ask follow-up questions; care and inquire sincerely. I've found I'm happier caring more about someone else than desperately competing for an audience myself. But competing for airtime is a hard habit to break.

After I master this, I'm going to stop being a shrew to my husband...no, really. I am.

10 comments:

  1. Hi! Thanks for stopping by my blog and for the comment...you have a good point that since they never checked it out they probably think it's just baby pics and they can see those on my Facebook page anyhow. :) What pissed me off was that one of them went directly from saying she hadn't looked at it into telling me about how she's been spending a lot of time online reading classified ads of Russian women looking for American men to marry. WTF? :)

    Anyhow, I think that your impulse to compare other IFers treatment timelines and decisions with your own is completely natural. I used to do the same thing: every time I met someone or read a blog in which the person had anything in common with me (endo, low progesterone...) I would analyze and compare our stories. The impulse continues when you are a mom and you'll probably find yourself fighting the urge to compare your baby with everyone else's babies. I think it's great you are so aware of it and that you are making a concerted effort to squelch it. Your last paragraph made me laugh...our hubbies are such convenient targets for our hormonal outbursts. :)

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  2. LOLOL at the last line... I have to stop being a shrew too. It sounds like a good plan to me. Good Luck! BTW, if I ever entered a race of this nature, I would go in the dumps, coz I hardly have infertile friends or family! I am the 1 in 6 girl, lucky me!


    ICLWing!

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  3. Thanks for the wonderful comment. You are so kind. When the time comes and I need that wig I am so going to call you. Your husband is extremely funny. I may use that. My husband and I promised to never be THAT COUPLE. When we have kids I won't talk about them all the time.

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  4. I'll play along! Thanks for the link. My word was dead-on.


    Your Word is "Think"
    You see life as an amazing mix of possibilities, ideas, and fascinations.
    And sometimes you feel like you don't have enough time to take it all in.

    You love learning. Whether you're in school or not, you're probably immersed in several subjects right now.
    When you're not learning, you're busy reflecting. You think a lot about the people you know and the things you've experienced.

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  5. Shrews are just our nature...at least when dealing with all this crap! And IRL IF friends are worth it so keep looking!

    ~nicole
    ICLW

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  6. It is so hard to not compare yourself to others when going through all we are going through. Good luck to you. I hope you have a great 2009!

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  7. I can completely relate to what you are saying..especially when those ttc for less time than you seem to be several steps ahead of you in getting treatment.
    ICLW

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  8. Odd how the "test" showed a you that you don't recognize but think is in there or will be there. I'm intruiged now and might click over. Thanks.

    iclw

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  9. Sometimes, shrewitude is necessary. Though it must be used sparingly to avoid onset of Total Wifely Voice Filtration Syndrome.

    Listening has helped me be a bit less bitter, as you start to hear how people have problems that are just as sucky as yours, even if they can and do have kids easily.

    I got "fearless." Doesn't quite sound like me, either. :)

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  10. My word was Love...and I do not agree with its interpretations. :]

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