in the movie of my life. You, my non-existent audience, will surely celebrate with me.
Last night I went to a "girls' night in." [N.B.: The near-universal failure to use the necessary apostrophe drives me crazy - and yet I nearly omitted it myself. What have I become?!] Attendees all between about twenty-two and thirty. I was told to expect some married, some single, some expecting, maybe some engaged. This was basically accurate. There were five married women there. (As you've already guessed, I was the only one who didn't have kids. Two were even expecting!) Our charming hostesses - who really were lovely and charming - are all single girls in their mid-twenties. And as we were all grabbing something to drink and waiting for the pizza to arrive, someone said, "Now we can tell who's expecting" based on whether the other ladies poured a glass of wine or not. She was just being cute. She's about 24 and single. No ill intentions at all, and she was referring to her friends from college (I had just met her). But I could see, as clear as day, where this would end up.
So, with cheerful expression and tone, I briefly interrupted the patter of conversation to note that, before I should be suspected, I'm not expecting - I just don't drink. There were no funny stares or strange expressions. I didn't have to shift around for something to say and want to slither away. It was pretty easy.
Now, I don't know whether it was connected, but not one person asked me why I didn't have children, or when I was planning to come up with some, all night! I didn't even get pointed stares when people were talking about their little ones.
Things like that should be so easy, but they usually seem impossible. So, I am enjoying my theoretical Trophy of Brilliance and Courage. I've earned it.