So, I have been very neglectful of my blogging responsibilities. I missed making comments on Thursday AND Saturday AND Sunday (well, I did extra responsive comments already, so I'm only down a total of 17). I will get my comments in today and before bedtime my deficit will be down to six, I swear.
I have a good reason, though. My best girlfriend of fourteen years just moved, so I spent the weekend packing and moving boxes. I got home at a decent hour both nights but I was just so tired. So I'm behind, but I haven't been neglectful in life in general. Also, I got an awesome upper- and lower-body workout. So I ate half a package of double-stuff Oreos...so what? I'm still being virtuous.
Since this is something of an omnibus post, I will also note that I am coming by degrees to the decision that I should do some research on what different cycle patterns and symptoms mean (working just from the little information doctors have the time and patience to give out is less than helpful. I'd like to understand thoroughly what's going on). If anyone knows of a medical textbook or some sort of encyclopedic guide to the hidden secrets of heavy flow, spotting, cycle length change, and all that nonsense, feel free to recommend. Bonus if it's available used on Amazon!
I further note that this is part of my returning-to-treatment phase. I'm starting to realize that a lot of the reason for my rage is because I'm naturally kind of a controlling person and the IF means that one of my highest priorities in life is out of my hands and maybe even out of reach. I feel completely helpless. Thus, even the tiniest threats or inconveniences in my life prompt, well, rage. If I start to learn more deeply what's going on, maybe I can demystify my illness, be less dependent for information on my doctor - possibly even anticipate bad news. And have some feeling that lifestyle changes (diet, exercise, whatever), are rational and take-charge, not just childlike superstition that slavishly obeying apparently crackpot advice has some talismanic, rather than scientific, power to get me a baby. (Or several babies.) That would be better.
Finally, and perhaps most pressingly, I really like Cheetos (the brand isn't important, really, but they have to be crunchy), and I just had a (snack sized!) bag, and I want another. Right now.